the fan club
by seleneswan
Summary: And the world spins madly on. —Sasuke/Sakura.
1. prelude

"_OH, MY GOSH. LOOK. LOOK."_

_-heads turn-_

_(gasps and squeals)_

_Somewhere in the masses, a girl falls to the ground in a swoon. _

_Another one faints, while at least ten blush heavily and fan themselves and about twice that amount, if not more, run to try and grope—_

"_OH, MY GOSH. IT'S HIM." Another one shouts._

_And then, as if practiced several times over…_

"_IT'S UCHIHA SASUKE!"_

_And the endless squeals begin._

* * *

Sasuke considered himself to be an introverted, quiet sort of person. He liked to lead a quiet life, and at the age of seventeen, now a fully reinstated Konoha ninja (Chuunin, to be exact) the most eventful thing that happened to him was the mentioning of when the upcoming Jounin exams were, or even the occasional day where, yet again, the three of them tried to tug off Kakashi's mask.

It wasn't much, and it was only sometimes accompanied by tomatoes and heavily by ramen, but it was enough. He was at peace, after leading a haunted lifestyle, and he was just transitioning back in to _living_ again.

His demons had been put to rest, and now, the only thing that remained of his dark past were the bloodstains on the floor of his house, which he was now trying to go rug shopping for, and the small black mark on the junction between his neck and his shoulder.

And of course, the memories, and the nightmares.

But the darkness in his life had receded, and he felt like, for the first time in his life, he was at rest.

However, since he was Sasuke, he was inherently unlucky, and so he thought to himself as he stood at the desk, he should have expected this. He should have seen this coming.

Hell, he even had the Sharingan, and yet he was so blind to the coming disaster.

_He should have seen this coming._

He told himself that he had been preoccupied; he had told himself he was concentrating on training and becoming a better person, healing after every injury, and attending his psychology appointments just like the jury told him to.

He had been doing many things, he explained to himself. Get up every day, shower, eat, train, eat, train, psychology appointments, train, eat, go rug shopping, train, shower, sleep.

Sakura and Naruto had berated him many times over for overworking himself, so one fine day, he had decided to skip one of his four long training sessions, and had asked Sakura for help.

No, he corrected, not _help. _He does not need _help. _He simply needed a second opinion.

Right.

So he had skipped his last training session in favor of extending his household shopping. So he had taken her to an oriental rugs store, and shown her the options. He had given her measurements of the rug needed, and she had seen the patterns.

And using careful female deduction strategies, she had deemed that he was thinking too narrow. She had dragged him out of the store by the elbow, and towed him to another part of town, where upholstery was on sale, along with wallpaper, and _rugs._

The day had been fruitless, though, and after searching through various designs, patterns, and materials, they had gone home. Sasuke's house was closer than hers, and so, being the gentleman that his mother told him that all members of the Uchiha clan were, he _must _have manners.

So he invited her in.

But when he opened the door to find that all of his traps had been set off, and shuriken and kunai were littered all over the house, it was most definitely, he thought with a sigh, _not _how things were supposed to be planned.

Especially not the girl on the floor, tied up with strings, almost invisible to the human eye. And definitely not the blood that was pooling around her hand where she had been taken down with a senbon. Oh, and most certainly not the screams from her mouth.

He sighed.

Behind him, he could hear Sakura's gasp, and then the girl seemed to begin to cry. "It _hurts _and I _failed _and now they'll all _laugh _at me…" she sobbed.

Sakura rushed to her side, carefully untangling the brown haired, mousy civilian girl and removed the senbon from her hand, healing her up quickly.

It was then that the girl realized that she was in his house, for she stared at him for a long moment before breathing quickly. "_Oh, Sasuke-kun." _She began in a voice that was too much of a change from her crying, screaming one. She seemed to be making some attempt at being…sensuous?

Hn.

Sakura rolled her eyes, and Sasuke promptly ignored the strange girl, instead going about resetting all the traps as he left the room.

But the last thing he heard before he was out of earshot was, "Sweetie, why are you here?"

"I can't tell you." she answered promptly.

"I'm not going to tell _anybody_."

Sniffles. "I-I…" Sniff. "Here for my…i-i-nitiation."

"Initiation?"

"For the Sasuke Uchiha fan club."

He heard a very audible sigh and then walked out of earshot, running a hand through his hair. It seemed he would have to check his underwear drawer to make sure that nothing was missing.

_.x._

**The Fan Club  
**_chapter one: the prelude_

_(written by seleneswan)_

_..._

_Because he was oh-so swoon-able with his dark hair and dark eyes and mysterious, sexy personality and oh, look at his _lips. _Mmm. _

_(giggles)_

_.x._

After the girl had been ushered out the door with the promise of no harm coming to her, Sakura walked back in the house wearily. But at the sight of the mildly exasperated look on his face, her lips curled upwards and she laughed.

Laughing. At him.

This was simply unacceptable.

But there it was, so he sighed, waiting for the chuckles to subside. Finally, a few minutes later, she had calmed down, and plastered a serious look on her face.

"How long have you had this problem?"

She was still laughing at him. He could feel it. It was in her head.

"Tch."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Sasuke. You do realize that we are grownups now and you can use your big-boy words. Now, do me the pleasure of speaking in words. Verbally."

Sasuke sighed, turning, leading her in the kitchen where he pondered her question. "Years."

Sakura's façade cracked, and she had a wild grin on her face before she covered it up again, leaving the pseudo poker face again. False innocence. Tch.

"Mm, you should consider calling pest control."

He frowned, and got out two tall glasses, sauntering over to the fridge to find the iced tea.

As he rummaged, a thought crossed his mind. _Not a bad idea._

And so it began.

* * *

A/N: BAHA. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS. _IN LOVE. _I was going to let it sit and wait, but then...I read over it. And I just _had _to post it. It was calling me, like a siren. "_come seek us where our voices sound, we cannot sing above the ground; an hour long you'll have to look, to recover what we took..."_

anyone get the reference? hm. anyways. I was going to wait until I was finished with _letter to you_...but then I didn't. and so here it is. (:


	2. of prostitution and missions

_(whispers, murmurs)_

"_Ugh, it's that girl. Freak."_

"_I know, how dare she hang around Sasuke-dearest." _

_(glares)_

_Standing off to the side, the group seems to congregate and grow bigger._

"_She's not even that pretty."_

_Scoffs. _

"_Let her be known as Enemy Number One."_

_Hisses._

"_Haruno Sakura."_

_

* * *

_

He was walking, because that day, he had considered the options and decided that this was the best option. It had taken a number of tomatoes, a good night's sleep, and a shower for him to ponder over the choices.

He had learned, over the years, that there were always choices in life.

And he had also deemed this was the best one.

Admittedly, he hadn't come up with it, but it was a good option nonetheless; Sakura was a bright person, even though she was oblivious and ignorant at times.

Pest control. Why hadn't he thought of it before?

And so around mid-morning, he walked down the roads to the Hokage building in the distance.

It was then that a mass of orange and blonde bounded up to him from the distance. He mentally sighed.

"Teme!"

Sasuke slowed down slightly so that Naruto could catch up. It wasn't a drastic slowing of motion, because that would mean that he was being _considerate _and that just wasn't done, especially for morons that wore orange. That would mean that he _cared_ and had some sort of friendship with the guy, and _that _was a no-no.

Either way, Naruto quickly caught up. "I'm going to see Baa-chan and ask her for a mission!" he announced.

Sasuke smirked slightly in amusement. _Ask_. As if Naruto actually _asked_ for anything. More like demand.

But his thought process was interrupted again, "Wanna come with?"

"Hn."

Naruto grinned widely then, stretching his arms out and placing them behind his head. "So, what's been going on with you?"

Sasuke's slight smirk vanished into a sneer. "Some stupid fangirl broke into my house. All my traps were everywhere, but nothing was stolen." _Like my dignity, which would have happened if she had made it to my room…and then to the drawers._

Naruto guffawed, but a sly smile made its way on his face. "You don't have anything worth stealing. You don't even have _ramen_. Hm. Probably, though, if _I _stole your stuff and sold it, I'd make big bucks. OR…" his eyes widened impossibly, and he looked around momentarily. Seeing a few clustered girls in a corner, he snatched Sasuke's wrist, holding it up as if Sasuke were a puppet.

"SASUKE UCHIHA. ON SALE NOW, ONLY 5 YEN."

_.x._

**The Fan Club  
**_chapter two: of prostitution, jokes, and missions_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

_Because he was on sale! And although some people might call such a low price degrading, what better combination could there be than Sasuke and shopping?_

_(maniacal grins)_

_.x. _

Instantly, a hoard of girls squealed, digging through their purses. Naruto, on the other hand, had somehow been sent flying through the air and face-planted some five yards away, skidding on the ground.

Sasuke quickened his pace, not bothering to wait for Naruto this time.

Walking away, he heard Naruto get up and inform the girls. "My mistake. Sorry, it seems he's retired from his profession of male prostitution. Maybe some other time."

There was a general outcry of disappointment.

Sasuke growled, stalking off in the direction of the Hokage building, ignoring the shouts from behind him.

"Eh, Sasuke!"

Silence on his end.

"Sasuke! Okay, look, I'm sorry. It had to be done, though. If it's any consolation though, you wouldn't actually be 5 yen. More like 2." Naruto grinned wickedly, laughing.

Sasuke stopped momentarily, sighing. "Immature moron," he muttered dolefully, continuing on his way.

Naruto's laughing continued, but he kept up easily with Sasuke's fast pace.

By this time, they had made it to the Hokage tower, and were ascending the stairs when something occurred to Naruto. "Hey, why are _you_ going to Baa-chan?"

A smirk appeared. "Pest control."

Naruto had never been more lost.

* * *

Shortly after Naruto had been kicked out of the office with yells and a large argument (something about not having missions), Sasuke walked in. Tsunade, still seated at her desk, was rubbing her temples with a large degree of irritation on her face, muttering something about how she hated her job.

"Hokage-sama."

Tsunade looked up. "_What?_"

Sasuke was unruffled with her caustic response. "I have…" he paused, unsure how to word his request. "I need someone to do something for me."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I need a kunoichi. To dismantle my fan club. From the inside. They broke in to my house and are a nuisance."

Tsunade blinked. "You want to…hire ninja to deal with your problem?"

"Aa."

She seemed befuddled, but then plastered a professional face on, lacing her fingers together. "Okay, you'll have to fill out a few forms. Depending on the rank of the mission, you can go through and choose the appropriate kunoichi on active duty." She paused. "Are you sure this is really necessary? You'd probably just be wasting money."

Sasuke minutely shook his head. "It's necessary."

Tsunade's face had a look of disbelief, but she shrugged and pulled out some papers, handing them to him with a pen and a clipboard.

Minutes passed. Sasuke filled out the forms, and Tsunade unearthed a bottle of sake, pouring in a glass. The shuffling of papers and liquid sloshing in the glass was all that could be heard. Tsunade exhaled lightly, content with the silence.

It had taken a few moments of thought for Sasuke to discern the ranking of his mission. After all, they _were _fangirls and could be possibly rabid or violent, so it wasn't a job for a genin…which ruled out D and C-rank missions. Most definitely, it wasn't an S-rank or A-rank…and so he made a decision.

Wordlessly, Sasuke handed the papers back and in exchange, Tsunade handed him a list of all kunoichi eligible for B-rank missions. The lines between Jounin and Chuunin were blurred as it was so the list was a mix of the two levels.

But as his eyes passed over her name, he knew, instinctively, that she was the correct choice.

So he pointed her out to Tsunade who began to laugh hysterically at the choice. "Kid, she's not going to be too happy about this…"

"Hn."

Tsunade snorted derisively. "Whatever. It's your funeral."

* * *

A few moments later, Sakura was summoned to the Hokage's office. She appeared to be in a rush, bolting in while peeling off bloody surgical gloves and tossing them in the trashcan near the desk. She stood still for a moment, procuring hand sanitizer from nowhere and then proceeded to clean her hands.

"You called for me?" she asked in an informal manner, removing her medic coat and draping it on the chair beside her.

"Yes…you have been requested for a solo mission. B-rank, infiltration. The pay is pretty good."

Sakura licked her lips in a thoughtful manner. "Uh. Where is it?"

"Here, in the village. You're free to decline it."

Sakura blinked. "I don't see the downside."

Tsunade winced. "You might not be happy with it…"

A moment of silence passed. "I still don't see a downside. What's the likelihood of death?"

"…less than 1 percent."

Sakura grinned at the thought of easy pay. "I'll take it! What's the mission?"

Tsunade sighed. "Your mission is to infiltrate an organization and dismantle it from the inside by rising ranks and taking away power from the leader. The identity of said leader is unknown, but the client has a contact from who you will acquire the necessary information from."

Sakura nodded amiably. "Mm, and where's the client?"

A voice spoke from behind her, then. "Hn."

Sakura didn't need to look to know who it was. Her brow furrowed for a moment as she quickly pieced the information together. It dawned on her, then, and she spun around, furious.

"You…you…_what? I have better things to do other than infiltrate your stupid fangirl organization!" _

Tsunade laughed, taking another sip of sake.

Sakura continued to yell with an outraged look on her face.

Sasuke sighed. "Stop being so annoying."

There was a pause. "_WHAT?"_

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

A/N: Teehee. I love you, lovely reviewers. I also **_lovelovelove _**AkieriN who did me the great favor of betaing this. Turns out that I skip over the word "a" a lot. I didn't actually notice. But I am very thankful for her infinite genius. I also love Tsunade. Best alcoholic in fiction. And, uh...I think that's it.


	3. of consequences and rules

"_ATTENTION!" _

_Loud murmurs turned to silence. People straightened up, paying attention._

"_Ahem, as President of the Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club, it has come to my attention that…certain members would like to wear the Uchiha crest on their clothing as a symbol of their devotion."_

_(excited murmurs)_

"_HOWEVER…"_

_Frowns._

"_That would be dishonoring to our dearest Sasuke-kun. Being an Uchiha is something _earned_, and this will be prohibited." _

_(disgruntled murmurs)_

"_Therefore, anyone caught trying to get away with it will…_paytheconsequences_." _

_Gleaming eyes. Callous laughter. Shivers._

"_Thank you. That will be all." _

_And then…terror._

_

* * *

_

Sakura sat, peeved. It was clearly an injustice to be forced to deal with something so inconsequential, but he even had the nerve to go and _hire _her for something so trivial.

So as she sat, her arms cross and a frown on her face, she sighed. She stirred her tea dejectedly and mentally prepared herself for the impending doom. Staring out of the window of the tea shop, she waited. And then, in the distance, she discerned the chicken hair. She only had to wait a few long moments as she stared at the pasty green tabletop before the chimes on the door sounded and he took a seat opposite her.

There was silence for a long moment.

She chose to break it. "I will _never_ forgive you for this, I hope you know."

Sasuke's lips twitched upwards in wry amusement. "Hn."

She steamed. "Do you realize how degrading this is? To be put on a mission that's not nearly worth the ranking you gave it. I'll have to deal with whiny little girls who think that they're all God's gift to _you." _

Sasuke snorted, still amused at her tirade.

"_And then_," she continued, not done. "And then I'll have to _pretend_ to be like _one of them._"

He finally responded with actual words. "It's not like that'll be hard for you."

She shot him a dirty look. "Shut up, chicken-ass."

There was silence for a long while. And then, "Are you done?" he asked.

She sniffed petulantly, choosing not to respond. He sighed. "The contact is supposed to meet us here…" he glanced at the clock, "…now."

The doors chimed again, and a small girl, dwarfed in a large trench coat, padded through the doors and towards their booth at the end of the place, looking down only. She took her seat quietly, flashing what was an attempt of covert glances behind her.

It was then that Sakura placed her, peering at her closely at the petite features and timid look and the scar on her hands that were resting on the table close to her body. But it was her hair that shocked Sakura the most. What used to be light blonde was now blood red and black, and the long silk-like quality was gone, replaced with unevenly hacked up hair.

The girl fidgeted under Sakura's sharp gaze.

"…what happened to you?" Sakura whispered, eyeing the half-healed scratch marks on the girl's cheek.

For this girl, only a few days ago, had been the bubbly, freaked out, obsessed fangirl that had broken into Sasuke's house.

The girl sniffed, lifting her eyes from the table. "I…I _paid the consequences._"

_.x._

**The Fan Club  
**_chapter three: of consequences and rules_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because this is ridiculous, Sasuke. Why can't you just suck it up like a _real_ man and deal with them yourself? Grow a pair, _seriously_." _

_(smirk)_

_.x._

Sakura frowned. "Consequences…?"

"For failure. For associating with…" she hesitated here, snatching glances around again, "…Enemy Number One, and…" she inhaled sharply. "For getting caught."

Sakura and Sasuke exchanged a glance. "Sweetie, what are you talking about? Enemy Number One?" Sakura cooed gently, prying information from her.

"I…I'll get in trouble." She looked terrified.

Sakura pushed her tea across the table in a placating gesture, and the girl hesitantly took the cup in her hands, sipping delicately, and shrinking into the booth.

Sakura looked at her pleadingly and honestly, yet determinedly. "I _promise_—" she paused, amending. "I _swear_ I will not let anything happen to you. Now that you have become a willing informant, you're under the care of the shinobi of Konoha and me, personally. No harm will come to you."

Warily, she glanced up from the tea cup she was staring rather fixedly at.

"I…" she fumbled with words at first. But as she began to talk, the words just spilled out, like she had been longing to tell someone for a while. "I applied to be a member, see, at the club that everyone had been talking about. But it's supposedly exclusive and you have to go through a series of tasks, initiation, to get in. You have to know this set handbook of information on…" she glanced at Sasuke, her face flushing. "...before you can even start initiation.

"The whole thing is very hush-hush. There are rules…and there are…" she paused for a split second, her eyes gleaming with something not at all foreign to Sakura. The girl's eyebrows furrowed. "…consequences."

She looked down at the table again, whispering. "And I was dealt the consequences." She reached up, tugging on her hair and slowly brushing her fingers over the scratch marks. "And I've been ejected."

She tucked her roughly cut hair behind her ears, fingering the strands with melancholy.

All was silent for a moment.

And then Sakura looked up, fiercely. "Tell me everything."

* * *

The next day, bright and early in the morning, Miho, the girl from the night before, had shown up on Sakura's doorstep as planned, shrouded once again in a large coat. Sakura had guided her inside, and they then proceeded to make sense of the messily chopped hair.

Wielding scissors with expertise, she had _snip_ped away at the strands, leaving Miho with a proper pixie-cut. Removing one of the many hair-dye kits that Sakura had in her closet (she often went on missions where being unrecognized was priority), Sakura first bleached away all the false red and black coloring, and then applied the new dye, a rich mahogany brown.

Once her hair had been properly redone, Sakura had removed a set of colored contacts that she had lined up near the dye in the closet, choosing a nondescript brown to place over the current bright blue.

Sakura herself had gotten dressed while Miho fumbled around with the practice of putting contacts in. Sporting her regular attire, they had decided the night before that it would be quicker and more beneficial to get things done as herself. Becoming nobody and then trying to get to the top of the club's hierarchy would take much more time than being someone who knows Sasuke and climbing the social ladder.

Regardless of the fact that she was Enemy Number One (a fact that she wasn't sure to be amused, perplexed, or frightened about), all of them had felt she could handle the animosity and get things done quicker by being herself.

So as soon as Sakura had finished, downing a glass of milk, they left, the new and improved Miho guiding her along to the induction building.

Miho had stayed in the shadows, stopping a few blocks away to wait while Sakura finished business.

Sasuke was waiting around the area Miho had indicated, and Sakura turned fangirl. Squealing, she latched on his arm like a parasite, screeching, "_Sasuke-kuuuun!_"

Sasuke, in turn, had given her a look of utter disdain.

Both noted, as they continued on with the charade, the eyes peeking out from around corners.

A pang of nostalgia hit Sakura as she kept blabbering. Like a twelve-year-old, she cried out, "_Sasuke_-_kun_, you're so _cool!_" He tried shaking her off of his arm, just like he used to. Suddenly, with an abrupt demeanor change, she fidgeted. She shifted her feet, and played with her fingers, mumbling. "Um, Sasuke-kun…?"

"Hn."

"…D-do you want to…um…you know…go out for…lunch…with _me?_" The wave of nostalgia crashed over the two of them, leaving them wound up in memories.

There was a split second's worth of hesitation as the déjà vu came back to him, but he replied, carelessly, "No." A glare was sent at her.

She didn't need to think of dying puppies or being left behind as her eyes filled with tears that were very _real. _She didn't imagine that the past would leave her so breathless, that the time when things were so…_innocent_…would leave her eyes wet.

Yet it was perfect for the moment, and Sasuke shoved her off of his arm. She stumbled backwards, landing on her bottom, very real tears budding at the corners of her eyes.

A single girl, then, crept out of the shadows. She held out a hand, and as Sakura was being pulled off of the ground, the girl hesitated.

But then, with a firm decisiveness in her words, she introduced herself, pushing her dark straight black hair behind her ear in a demure manner. "Hi, there. I'm Mei. Do you want to join the Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club?"

Sakura wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes, and smirked inwardly.

_Bingo. _

* * *

A/N: I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS, YOU. also, I hate my shift button on my laptop. it's like, failing me. I think I overuse it a bit. boo. I haven't received such a positive response on any of my stories since this one, and well...I love you all for it. also, there's a slight lack of humor in the chapter, but never fear! next chapter, I will be poking fun at sasuke-darling's sexuality.

also, I love chocolate chip muffins. I was at the grocery store buying some, and I left my cart for a second, and when I came back, they were gone. everything _else_ was still in the cart, though. so I had to walk ALL THE WAY back to get another box. stupid people. _but I love you, my darling reviewers! _


	4. of anti virginity and denial

"_Mei…" a friend says._

_(whispers, whispers)_

"…_don't you realize who she is?"_

_(whispers, whispers)_

"…_do you realize what you've _done_?"_

_Heeled footsteps._

_(click, click, click)_

_Stares._

"_Come with me." A clipped, high, feminine tone. _

_Shivers, a head bows. _

"_I'm sorry."_

_Tears._

_.x._

Sasuke wasn't sure what to think as he stalked away with a faux-attitude problem that he really hadn't had since his younger years. He was many things, he supposed, but _blind_ (at least physically) was not one of them.

So despite how much he wished to ignore what he saw, he couldn't help but feel…an inner turmoil.

He had a problem with the past, for sure. So when Sakura reduced herself to a blubbering mass of pathetic girly girl, the memories that he had locked up for a long time had somehow forced themselves out from between bars of the cage he had locked them in.

And he remembered.

Startlingly clear, he remembered the way she pined over him, they way her eyes, always so _open_, would reflect her feelings so easily. He remembered how he had woken from unconsciousness and riddled through with needles with her collapsed on top of him and sobbing. He remembered the chopped hair that had been scattered over the ground and the blood on her face. He remembered the way her pale arms had wrapped around him, restraining. He remembered her and her ridiculous plate of apples.

He remembered the look on her face, the one of terror, when he and Naruto had fought on the hospital rooftop.

He remembered the way her tears had cascaded from her eyes in the cool air of that night.

It was strange, how quickly that all came back to him.

But what was stranger was that the look on her face, her eighteen year old face, was nearly a mirror of the expression on the ones from his memories.

He made sure to flicker with speed, racing up to the rooftops with invisibility, viewing what happened from a distance. And just beyond the trees, he saw Sakura getting helped up by a girl. The tears were the same, and she was looking as dejected as before, but something had changed.

No longer did she seem as helplessly lost as before, and any traces of confusion and nostalgia had vanished, in their place very subtle cunning and slyness, leaving Sasuke to wonder if he ever saw anything in the first place.

An unreadable expression placed on his face, he turned and walked away.

Sakura turned the knob, walking through Sasuke's door. She stepped easily over all of the set traps, paving her path to the kitchen where Miho was already sitting.

Sasuke was officially on babysitting duty.

She sat down with a loud, exhaled sigh, slapping down the papers on the counter. Her application papers.

She had already filled out all of the basic information: name, address, et cetera. But at the bottom of the papers, there was a personal profile you had to outline: what you liked to do in spare time, favorite color, favorite food.

Sasuke, who was eating a tomato, glanced over her shoulder. Without wasting time on greetings, she abruptly spoke. "So how are these things judged?"

Miho looked up from the paperback novel she was reading. "What?"

"The applications."

Miho put the book down, pages facing downward so that the spine was stretching itself. Sakura twitched, bothered by the slow abuse and suffering of literature.

"Oh, that doesn't really matter. The real test comes when you have to show how much you know about Sasuke." She talked as if he wasn't even in the room. He raised an eyebrow. "I told you about the handbook earlier, right?"

Miho paused briefly, but didn't wait for a response. "You have to know certain things; like, his favorite hobby is training and he hates the color pink."

Sakura frowned. "What's wrong with pink?"

Miho didn't respond. "He also likes ramen; he visits the ramen stand with his friend Naruto often." At this, Sasuke scowled in distaste. "Also, despite speculations, he is _not_ gay, and especially _not _with Naruto."

Sakura grinned. "Oh, really? What do they say about his first kiss?"

Sasuke choked on his tomato. He could _not_ believe she was hedging around The Incident.

Miho seemed unperturbed. "He hasn't had a first kiss yet. He's pure and _untouched._"

Sakura didn't cease to be amused. "Like, _virginal?_"

Sasuke finally took offense at this…this…_blasphemy _and these_ lies at his expense. _His mind reduced to that of a six year old's, only programmed to deny everything. Yet, he still managed to maintain some dignity, because he was Sasuke and dignity was in his blood.

"I am _not_ a virgin." He muttered hotly.

Miho looked taken aback, her mouth circling into an o of shock. Sakura wasn't put out though, sensing the obvious lie, instead relentlessly poking fun.

"Oh? Who took it, then?" And then, with a slightly maniacal grin, she speculated the worst, most ego-damaging thing. "Naruto?"

_.x._

**The Fan Club  
**_chapter four: of anti-virginity and denial_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because, oh Sasuke, you're _tainted. _Gay-ly tainted._ _But that's okay; we'll still jump your bones anyways." _

_(cackles)_

_.x._

Sasuke, for a brief almost unnoticeable second, looked wounded. But then he just shot Sakura a pissed off look, scoffed derisively, and walked away.

Miho was still frozen. "He's…_gay_?"

Sakura barked a laugh. "No, I don't think so. Just maybe…awkwardly sexually confronted."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" She was scandalized.

Sakura grinned. "He's landed in situations where he could be considered that way. But that's never his fault, per se. I mean, he did run off with a pedophilic gay man, but…"

"_WHAT?" _

Sakura chuckled, debating whether or not to save Sasuke's dignity. But then the better, more dominant part of her took over and shook her head. "I'm just kidding."

Miho seemed still taken aback. "So…he's bisexual?" Oddly, Miho seemed slightly fascinated by that.

Sakura snorted, penning _pink_ in the favorite color box, just because she could. "No. He's straight, virginal, and pure. Chill." She rolled her eyes.

Miho exhaled deeply, in relief. "O-oh…oh…wow."

And Sakura laughed.

_The Twelfth Edition Sasuke Uchiha Handbook_

_Compiled by our Great Founders  
With help from the Investigative Team  
And our most Honored Member_

_Widely acclaimed as the greatest shinobi descended from the mighty Uchiha clan and therefore the greatest shinobi of the world, Sasuke Uchiha is an enigma. _

_And so we've decided to trace his past and present, to speculate what will become of him in the future and to understand what makes this stunningly gorgeous man tick. _

…

_Table of Contents_

_Chapter One: His Childhood  
Chapter Two: The Uchiha Massacre  
Chapter Three: Team 7  
Chapter Four: Chuunin Exams  
Chapter Five: Quest for Power  
Chapter Six: Speculations from Ages 13 to 16  
Chapter Seven: Revenge  
Chapter Eight: Taka  
Chapter Nine: Speculations in Between  
Chapter Ten: The Final Battle & Return_

_Chapter Eleven: The Man Himself_

_Chapter Twelve: Uzumaki Naruto  
Chapter Thirteen: Haruno Sakura  
Chapter Fourteen: Hatake Kakashi_

_Chapter Fifteen: The Uchiha Clan  
Chapter Sixteen: Uchiha Fugaku, Mikoto, and Itachi_

_Chapter Seventeen: Orochimaru  
Chapter Eighteen: Overview of Taka_

_Chapter Nineteen: Other Associates_

_Chapter Twenty: Overview of Uchiha Sasuke_

_Photo Credits  
Index_

…

"There's a whole chapter on me?"

Blink. Blink.

"Oh, yes," Miho responded. "Of course; you know what they say. _Keep your friends close but your enemies closer._" She nodded sagely.

Sakura chose not to respond.

Miho glanced at the clock on Sakura's wall, reading the time. Today was Sakura's day to babysit, but it seemed, when Miho stood up and waved goodbye, muttering something about having to grocery shopping before the vegetable vendor closed his stall, that Sakura would have part of her day off.

Sakura opened her mouth to ask if she wanted a genin team to accompany her, but Miho was already gone.

Hours passed as Sakura pored over Team 7's designated section in the book, not sure whether to be amused or furious about the blatant lies in there. How Naruto and Sasuke hated each other and had to put up with each other, how she was always trying to _seduce _Sasuke but he refused all the time because she was obviously ugly and he had to save himself for their Great Leader. How Kakashi wanted to be just like Sasuke because Sasuke was always better than his sensei. How Sasuke was the best in everything, and how he had no flaws. His temper problems as well as the pole shoved up his ass simply never existed; he was respectful, kind, and giving.

And he treated his fangirls poorly because he was _modest_.

Sakura twitched.

Hours had passed since Miho had left, and she was about to begin the part on his family (most likely glorified, save for Itachi), when she registered a set of foot falls in her apartment. She took no notice, recognizing the soft steps.

"Sasuke, could you get the pamphlet from the counter?"

There was no response, but a few moments later, he appeared in the room, browsing through the Uchiha Sasuke pamphlet.

He snorted, seemingly amused by something, but then handed the papers to her.

"You think that's funny, then you should read this chapter on you. You are, and I quote, _a gift to society and a precious pearl of the justice in the world, able to find the balance between heart and mind; it's no wonder that the body reflects the beauty within, _closed quotes."

Sasuke smirked. "I agree."

Sakura blinked. _Sasuke…just made…a joke?_

But she cracked a smile, nevertheless, and laughed. And her ears picked up on an almost unnoticeable sound. Along with her, there was deep, more masculine rumbling chuckle: the sound of Sasuke's laughter.

It was brief, so brief that Sakura wasn't sure if she imagined it or not. And all she could think for hours after was that it just might have been the most beautiful thing she had ever heard.

* * *

_A/N: _oh, wow, I just realized I hadn't disclaimer-ed this. well. I don't own naruto. sniff. this applies to the entire story.

hmm, many thanks to _**AkieriN**_ for beta-ing for me. also, to **_Sakura's Indecision _**for giving me insight and inspiration to add the first part that's kind of sort of ish in sasuke's point of view. I hope I kind of...gave a good reflection of his turmoil; I did my best! I didn't want to go the whole nine yards and make it first person sasuke, because then I'm afraid I'd make him out of character. anyways, you're awesome!

ALSO. ideas for the initiation tasks? I'm in a bit of a rut. help, lovely reviewers?

furthermore, I want cake. I indulge in chocolate and poking fun at sasuke-darling. also, labor day! :D


	5. of celebrations and failings

"_It's all going according to plan."_

_Sunny smile._

_Pacing, pacing._

_Stop._

_Stare out the window._

_Shuffle on other side of room. Finally, a reply. "I think…and by my honor to this…"_

_Pause._

"_I think you're the most ingenious one yet."_

_Sweet smile. Laugh._

"_Thank you." _

* * *

Sakura wondered if it was normal for laughter to be stuck in her head. Music was completely ordinary, even words and phrases weren't too strange, but laughter? Not so much.

She swore she could still hear it. She wasn't even sure if by now the memory was distorting itself, because every time she recalled the chuckle, she could feel the sharp exhale of his warm, shiver-worthy breath on her face.

He wasn't nearly that close, was he? Did his breath really smell like the winter wind?

She shook her head in an attempt to dispel the ridiculous thoughts.

This was _not_ normal.

_I'm losing my mind._

"Hey."

She grumbled out loud. "Great. Now I'm hearing voices, too. Might as well just admit myself into an insane asylum."

An amused snort came from behind her. She whipped around quickly. "Oh!"

She stared at him for a good moment, processing what just happened. And then, slowly but surely, her face, neck, and ears began to color themselves pink.

"…Um. Hi." She managed.

Sasuke said nothing more in reference to her state of embarrassment, changing the subject. "There's a sale on rugs today."

Sakura easily got caught up in the subject, all but forgetting the ludicrous incident of moments earlier.

Briefly, she thought what a talent it was of his to ask questions without actually asking them.

"You want me to come with you?" She inquired, adamant of getting a worthy response, even though she already knew the answer.

"Hn."

Well. That plan failed. Verbosity wasn't one of Sasuke's talents.

She sighed.

"Okay. Let's go. But I have to masquerade as Naruto."

Sasuke glanced at her distastefully for a moment, but said nothing in protest. With a few quick hand seals, she changed her appearance and walked out of her apartment, following Sasuke to wherever he was going.

"So you're still looking for the same stuff?"

"Yes."

Sakura/Naruto nodded slowly. "…have you considered maybe just removing the flooring all together?"

Sasuke replied then, distantly. "I don't want to change the way Mother designed it."

The way his voice wrapped around the word "mother" was like a caress, suddenly changing tone from its usual indifferent and sometimes sarcastic inflection. His voice engulfed the word with an almost unimaginable amount of _love_, something that Sakura hadn't thought was possible for Sasuke any longer.

She wasn't quite sure what this feeling was. She supposed it was partly sympathy and sadness, but something made her heart want to explode within her. And the longing she felt for a split second? That must have been imagined.

The sound of their identical standard ninja shoes scraped against the pavement softly, and the murmurs of various conversations from other people faded into the background.

Sakura/Naruto was quiet. "Okay," she replied, finally, softly.

_.x._

**The Fan Club  
**_chapter five: of celebrations and failings_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because he has a heart, beneath it all." _

_(soft sigh)_

_.x._

Two hours and twenty four minutes later, they walked out of a rug store, triumphant.

"I think this was a good buy. There's something about today…good things are going to happen. I can feel it." she said wisely, waving her arms dramatically as she trailed next to Sasuke, gesturing at the world around them. "Anyways, though. This was a good buy. The cream color and simple, small blend-into-the-background embroidery will compliment the room so well." She grinned ecstatically.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Right." She'd been saying the same thing, except rephrasing it each time, for the past half hour.

Sakura/Naruto's eyes lit up, suddenly. "We should celebrate this momentous occasion!"

"Don't you have some test to study for?"

Sakura/Naruto blinked. "What test?"

Sasuke exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair in mild frustration before coming to a stop in front of his door and rooting in his pocket for the keys. "The club test." He replied with impatience in his voice.

Sakura/Naruto blinked again, recalling. "OH. Oh, I remember. No. Why would I need to study? I've known you since we were like, two," she stated, exaggerating. "I know _everything_ there is to know about you."

Sasuke gave her an appraising stare, but then shrugged. "If you say so."

As he pushed the door open, her henge fell and she shrunk quite a few inches, the blonde making a strange transference to pink and lengthening quickly. "So we should celebrate!" she reiterated, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. Without giving him a chance to respond, she ran off into his kitchen, digging around in his fridge before unearthing two bottles of beer.

He followed behind, dully.

"Your alcohol selection is lacking." She commented as she shifted items around in order to procure the glass containers in the back, but he didn't reply.

Easily, with just a bit of chakra, she uncapped the two and tossed the lids in the trash can before handing one to Sasuke.

He raised an eyebrow, but accepted the bottle.

"A toast!" she announced to him, "to your new accomplishment."

"I bought a rug." He deadpanned.

"Yes, yes you did! And congratulations! Cheers." She said with an emphatic flourish.

She clinked her bottle with his and took a swig.

He continued to look at her as if she was losing her mind (and perhaps she was; everything seemed so strange), but nevertheless muttered "Cheers," and took a sip out of his own bottle.

Sakura, in a rush of excitement, handed him her bottle, picked up the shopping back, looped her arm through his, and waltzed down towards The Room. She pulled him along, jerking him at times, causing some beer to splash onto the floor.

She only slowed down when they reached the door of The Room. Suddenly, the mood shifted. She unlaced her arm from his, took back her bottle, and waited. Peering up at him, she implored softly. "Do you want to see how it looks?"

Everything in him screamed no. No, Sakura didn't belong in that room. Sakura was too soft.

No, no, _no_.

But…it was just a room. No matter what happened in there, it was still only a room.

Still, no, _no_, _no_.

But she glanced up at him with a semblance of hope in her bright eyes, and his stance wavered.

"Fine."

Her lips did not upturn into a smile, a grin, a triumphant smirk. Instead, she bit her lip anxiously.

He slid open the door.

The room was empty, untouched. The blood on the walls was gone, painted over long ago. The furniture was sparse, and the room was chilly with the cold grip of previous death. There was no dust; it seemed to be aired out and cleaned regularly.

Sakura glanced at Sasuke surreptitiously, but there was no flash of anger, no bloodlust, no desire for revenge. His posture slouched a bit, as if weighed down by the burden of his past, and he seemed overwhelmingly…lost.

It was like stepping on the thin, delicate sheet of ice above a pond, the way he maneuvered himself into the room. She didn't want to overstep the barrier, so she wordlessly held out the bag which cradled the rug within it.

He set the beer down on the floor. His slim fingers wrapped around the handle, reached in, and unfurled the rug.

She didn't want to look, but the dark brown once red splotch in the middle of the floor, absorbed within the wood was calling for her attention. She saw at it only long enough to catch a glimpse before he quietly spread the creamy rug over it.

It was strange, what that simple transformation did to the room, did to him. The tension suddenly broke and Sakura became brave enough to actually walk into the room instead of lingering in the doorway.

She bent down to pick up the bottle that was sure to leave a condensation ring on the floor if he wasn't careful, and walked towards him. "It looks…" she hesitated, unsure of the word choice, "…better," she intoned softly, placing the bottle back into his empty hands.

"Hn." He grunted, a bit of life flashing back into his previously empty eyes.

She wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow, the two of them ended up sitting on the floor, cross-legged, a short distance away from the rug. Both bottles emptied, and she was slightly tipsy.

"Mm, Sasuke?" She hummed through her words, staring out the window from her spot on the floor. He grunted, as usual, in response. "How d'you think I'll do t'morrow?" she got the words out lazily, almost, dragging her pronunciation as lethargy crept upon her.

He shrugged beside her; she didn't need to look up to know that. Their arms were brushing, and his slight movement jostled her momentarily before she settled back into her preferred position.

"Wha's the time…?" she murmured as her eyes slid shut and she automatically leaned on the thing closest to her: Sasuke.

Another shrug. Sasuke glanced out the window at the moon, positioning it in the sky in accordance to the time. "Eleven, nearing twelve."

Sakura's eyes blearily opened for a moment. "Can I stay the night?"

Sasuke sighed, and she exhaled appreciatively at his non-worded agreement. "Mm…thanks Sasuke-kun…" she said softly, before drifting.

It was strange, unfamiliar to him how someone could sleep peacefully in the room in which so many died. He, himself, having stayed here for years could not allow his eyes to slip shut for some few hours, regardless of his exhaustion.

So as her body sagged against his side, he found himself confounded.

But it was as he was contemplating this anomaly that he found himself unusually tired as well. It was the rug, he decided. The rug and the alcohol and the body heat.

He easily lifted her off of the ground, piggy-back style, not heeding her incoherent mumbles against his shoulder blade and left the room.

It wasn't until he had laid her down on the couch (he refused to let her sleep in Itachi's or his parents' room) that he realized how comfortable she was here, how much she looked liked…she belonged.

She had decorated his house, Mikoto-style, changed his mind about certain things, and fell asleep in a room haunted with spirits.

Sasuke stared at her for a long moment, the way her side rose and fell with each breath she took, the way she curled and shifted inward towards the back of the couch, the manner in which her hands groped blindly for the pillow, her naturally half clenched hand laying on the side, the soft exhalations and equally hushed inhalations.

And in the dark, in a house that was haunted by spirits, a man with an unforgiving insomnia and gripping dreams walked to his bed, laid down, and fell asleep.

* * *

Sakura, having woken up at Sasuke's house to the sound of his footsteps, had panicked, running around like a headless chicken for a brief moment, searching mindlessly for a clock.

In the end, she settled for shoving the curtains out of there to discern the position of the sun in the sky, and finally assured of her non-tardiness, she grabbed a banana, ate it with Sasuke in silence as he looked over some scrolls, and then left Sasuke's house, masquerading as Naruto again, and roof-hopped home.

It had taken her all of ten minutes to get ready: showering, changing into civilian clothes, grabbing her bag, and heading out the door.

By the time she had arrived at the designated testing area, there were a few spare minutes before the start.

All the tables in the spacious, drab room were faced towards the front, where a demure girl whose face was caked in foundation perched on a table, a stack of tests in her hand. She was clad in a dark blue zipper hoodie which, across the back was printed in calligraphy _The Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club: Communications Liaison. _And in even smaller print on the front, her name:_ Bara_. Rose.

True to her behavior towards most learning institutions, ridiculous or not, Sakura took a seat at the front. Bara's heavily shadowed eyes slid over to Sakura, froze for a second, widened a bit, and then darted away. But every few moments, they eyes would skeptically trace their path towards Sakura's face, as if unbelieving she was here.

The room, filled with an adequate amount of excited girls, quieted when Bara stood up. She cleared her throat, and spoke. "My name is Bara and I am the Comm. Liaison of the Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club. I am also, today, your test administrator."

She smiled, then, a weird sickly sweet smile that had the attempt of a threat behind it. "A few things to know: cheating is prohibited and will result in immediate termination. This test is timed. You will get a full thirty minutes to complete all sixty questions. We only take the best."

"There will be no bathroom breaks, stretch periods, or anything else as ridiculous. If you do not have a pencil with you, leave. This shows that you are clearly underprepared and do not care enough to be here."

A few girls, faces white, got up and left.

The rest in the room were restless and slightly anxious, but Sakura simply had a determined look on her face, a small smug look tugging at her face. There was no way she wasn't going to pass this with flying colors.

Bara then handed out the stack of test, face down. Everyone had their pencils at the ready, and when she said, in a scratchy voice, "Begin!" there was a mass sound of flipping paper all at once.

Sakura turned over her own test, wrote her name in the designated area and began.

* * *

Two days later, her test scores came in the mail. Lazily, she yawned as she curled up on the corner of the couch and peeled open the envelope easily. A copy of her test fell out, the correct answers on a separate sheet, and on top of the stack sat a score report.

Her eyes zeroed in on the paragraph where her score was.

_On Friday, Haruno Sakura was administered the Official Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club Entrance Exam and scored 43% correct. Main problem areas and places to work at would be on the dynamics of Team 7, the evaluation of Sasuke's abilities with regard to his duties as a ninja, his home life (pre-massacre), and general personality traits. _

_Haruno Sakura has failed Part 1 of her initiation by a 16.2 point margin and missed a perfect score by a 34.2 point margin._

_There will be no retakes._

An aghast look settled on Sakura's face, and the sheet fell out of her hand, careening onto the floor.

Hell, _no_.

* * *

A/N: reviewers, I _love _you all. if I could give all of you a big huge hug, I would, but for now, this will have to suffice: /hug.

this will not be updated in November at all. I wanted to get this out before then because during November, I'm doing NaNoWriMo (with a bunch of other people from the Author's Appreciation Guild - the coolest place to be, ever) and I'll have hardly any time to write anything else, much less sleep and live and such, haha. a bunch of lovely links are on my (new&improved!) profile, my NaNo being one of them. wish me luck! I'll need it. D:

also, lettuce is delicious and pajamas are my favorite clothes in the whole world.


	6. of learning and observing

_Her lips widened into a grin. "Really?"_

_Nods. "She failed." An affirmation._

_Laughter. Innocent laughter. Giggles, almost._

_Skipping, twirling. _

"_Go get the ice cream. It's time to celebrate."_

_Nod. Smile. _

"_Chocolate? Or vanilla?" Another asked. _

_She shook her head. "Strawberry." _

_Pink was in season, after all. _

__

_

* * *

_

Sakura shot up from her relaxed position, panicking, as she read over the rest of the exam report quickly.

_There will be no retakes._

She wanted to slap herself. What had she done wrong? It wasn't like she hadn't accounted for the skewed information they would be expecting. She fangirl-ified her answers well enough, she had thought. She had properly exaggerated and deleted information, and regardless of the words of confidence that she had spoken to Sasuke earlier about not needing to study, she _had_ gone over the book.

Well, she skimmed it.

But it was enough, wasn't it?

Sure, a lot of it was free answer, but…

Her fingers sought the exam booklet where she had, quite confidently, bubbled in all her answers. It seemed, though, as she fingered through the pages, that the multiple choice wasn't where she had messed up.

It was the open ended responses.

A long line of cross marks scattered the page, graded in red ink. A few notes were littered in overly girly, bubbly handwriting, but for the most part, it was devoid of commentary.

She read over her own response, and the question:

_On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest, rate Uchiha Sasuke's skill in his field of work as a shinobi and explain why you think it is so. _

She recalled, even before she looked at what she had written, how overly dramatized it was. How terribly shallow.

_Sasuke is, most definitely, a ten. With his good looks and skill and completely devoted way of life, he is sure to be nothing else but a ten. His fire attacks make his face illuminate and he looks so fierce when he performs them. He can beat anyone because of his raw power and skill and is better than everyone. _

_He is, surely, the elite of the elite, and _no one_ can bring him down._

_.x._

**The Fan Club**_**  
**__of learning and observing_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because he's invincible." _

_(awed smile)_

_.x._

Sakura had, while being disgusted at herself for coming up with such filth as a response, thought that it was what they were looking for. Apparently not, as that particular response was the one with comments written by it.

_Proof? Looks alone do not make someone a ten. The only thing you mention are his fire attacks, but you fail to explain the connection between the power of them and his skill as a shinobi. You do not seem to have an adept grasp of what makes a shinobi great._

"I don't…have an _adept grasp_ of the way of life that _I lead_?" she whispered in shock to herself, fingers clenching over the paper, wrinkling it.

And then she felt it—the sheet of paper just behind the one she was fisting venomously. She ever so slowly pulled it, reading over it as she did.

* * *

_To Whom It May Concern:_

_If you have received this letter, this means that you have failed Part One of three parts to determine your readiness to join the Sasuke Uchiha Fan Club. As it reads on the test copy that has been returned to you, there are no retakes for single parts of any test._

_However, if you have received this letter, this indicates that you have not failed nearly badly enough to completely disqualify you from the application process, and will be admitted for Parts Two and Three. _

_Below are the dates for the briefings for the exam schedule. You have the option of going to one of the two because we have come up with two times for the convenience of our members._

_Today at 4:00pm sharp outside the examination building_

_Tomorrow at 2:00pm sharp outside the examination building_

_Be sure to bring a sheet of paper and some sort of writing utensil to assist you in taking notes of the coming task._

_The best of luck to you._

_Cordially,_

_The Management_

_

* * *

_It was then that Sakura knew—knew as surely as she knew that the grass was green and that the sky was blue—that this Fan Club certainly was not as dim-witted as she had originally thought. She had underestimated their capacity to see beyond the surface, of Sasuke or otherwise, and that had been her downfall: that she believed them to be all about looks and appearances, but certainly, judging from the criticism she received, this was not the case.

And she knew that she had absolutely _had_ to ace the next couple of exams. She could only hope that there were no more written portions, and that the rest would be practical instead.

But one thing still plagued her mind as she stared at the letter without really seeing it. She had absolutely no idea how to tell Sasuke, her _client_, that she had failed.

"I don't know what to do!" Sakura exclaimed, talking to Miho. She was becoming rather fond of the girl. "I thought I did _well_, but I haven't ever failed a written test before!"

She pushed the test across the counter to her, and Miho flipped through it. "We're not…" she paused. "I guess I'm not part of that 'we' anymore, but they're not quite as airheaded as you seem to think." There was a certain bite to her words, as if she was a bit offended—which she probably was.

Sakura tugged on her hair a little, frustrated. "I don't mean to offend, but having a club dedicated to a person just seems…stupid. But I guess I know better, now. I just wish I hadn't _failed_. Scoring low would have been okay, but _failing…_"

Miho twirled her straw around in her drink. "There's a first time for everything, I guess. But it's okay! You still have the second and third parts. The second part's not too difficult, you just observe, but the third—that was the one that I messed up on." She sighed, gloomy.

Sakura turned around stirring the pot; she was making herself and Miho dinner.

"I just…" Sakura paused, pensive. "I mean, I know that I'll go on and hopefully do fine, but…"

Miho nodded. "Yeah, I get it." She paused, a grin stretching over her small features. "Hey! Do you know what I do when I get sad? I bake cookies."

Sakura blinked.

"We should bake cookies," Miho said, decisive. "Chocolate chip."

And Sakura slowly nodded. "Yeah…yeah, that sounds really good, actually."

And Sakura smiled.

* * *

When she, Sasuke, and Naruto were finished training together, sitting with their backs to a collection of trees, she decided to bring up her failure. Beyond then, the training ground was demolished. Trees were uprooted, the ground was broken, sharp cuts had been made everywhere, and other trees had simply burned and shattered from lightning.

"So I've been thinking about expanding my chakra reserves so that instead of just punching massive holes in the ground, I can brush against someone that I don't like and they'll go _flying_. Like, a body slam. But not."

Naruto looked positively horrified. "No! Sakura-chan, that's what fat sumo-wrestlers do! And you are neither fat nor…sumo! You are delicate and soft and you should have sneaky badass moves!"

Sakura raised an eyebrow, repeating dubiously. "Sneaky badass moves."

"Yeah! Like…like…stealthy genjutsu!"

Sakura blinked. "That's actually not a bad idea. I could get Kurenai-sensei to help me."

Naruto nodded rapidly, happy with this decision. Sasuke butted in. "Or you could find out what your element is."

Sakura nodded slowly. "Well, I already know my element. I'm earth, which I guess is way too typical since I make dirt soar. And then I'm a secondary fire: also typical because I live in the Land of Fire. Oh, by the way, I failed the exam." She slipped in, hoping to be stealthy about it.

Sasuke stared at her for a long moment. "You failed the exam."

And then what she thought was impossible happened. Sasuke's lips quirked up into a smirk, almost a smile, and he seemed beyond amused. And somewhere, deep inside of him, a laugh was building up, but came out as a brief chuckle. There was, again.

Laughing once was unlikely. But twice within the same week was simply…ridiculous.

Sakura nodded then, trying her hardest to get the sound out of her head, tossing a kunai up and down as she did, agitated. "Yeah, the club exam. Turns out they're not quite as ridiculous as I thought they were! But no worries, I can still take the next part."

Sasuke snorted. "Try not to fail again."

And Naruto only looked confused. "What exam?"

Sakura rubbed the back of her head, unusually sheepish. "It doesn't concern you, Naruto. Go eat ramen or something."

Naruto grinned, easily distracted, standing up eagerly. "That's a great idea, Sakura! Let's go!" He held out a hand to her, offering to pull her up.

"You should ask Hinata," Sakura laughingly replied, amused. "She'd probably love to go watch you inhale food."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "Eh? Really?"

Sakura laughed again. "Yes; she's probably in the Hyuuga compound right now. If you run, you can catch her before she has dinner with her family."

* * *

The next day, at 2:00pm, she lined herself up with at least twenty other girls. She stared at the horizon in the distance, keeping herself to her thoughts. Like she'd been instructed, she brought a sheet of paper and a pen, and even brought a binder so she didn't have to use the concrete as a hard surface to write on.

The same examiner from the resting room was there, walking to the center with an air of authority. "Attention." She said quietly, and every single one of the girls straightened up, focused. "If you'll remember, I'm Bara, the Communications Liaison. I'm here to tell you about the second part of your exam.

"You are to observe Sasuke Uchiha for a select number of hours. You will each be allotted different times, which I have with me," she waved the sheet in the air, "and you are to find the preceding applicant at this building, who will be waiting for you with his current location. All you have to is observe, and perhaps take notes. If you get caught, we _will _know.

"All you must do is _observe_. There will be no mindless squealing or approaching. If you _do_ approach him for some reason, he is not to know that you have been following him. Do not get caught, and you succeed, moving on the next round. If you _do_ get caught, but have noted something particularly interesting or worthwhile, you will be under consideration to be kept.

"I'm posting the list, right now," she stated, then, walking behind all of the applicants to attach it to the cork board. "Good luck." And then she walked back into the building.

And at once, everyone converged, eager to find their time. It was in random order it seemed, and interestingly enough, it was Sakura's name at the top of the paper for the first two hour slot, from noon to two o'clock the next day—the _only_ two hour slot, she noted. The rest were all single hour spots.

Sakura glanced inside the building, speculative.

It seemed that they knew who she was.

A slow smile spread across her face. "Well, all the better," she murmured to herself. "I'll show them how to stalk like a pro."

* * *

_A/N: _You _guys_! I love you so much! You have no idea how fond I am of all of you; I dote on all of you so much. Your support and feedback and everything...oh, I just love you all. Credit to _**Sakura's Indecision **_for coming up with an amazing second task which I couldn't have even thought of myself.

Also, happy new year! 2011! :D

On another note, I've been getting some requests to make my chapters longer, and I'd love to, ideally, but then updates would be like 32798759340 times slower than they already are, which would suck, for both you _and_ me.


	7. of growth and decay

_Inquisitive eyes trailed after Enemy Number One. _

_A growing smile. _

"_Stalk like a pro? You're not the only one." _

_Laughter. _

"_Oh, how blind you all are."_

_Twirl, twirl. _

_Laughter._

"_Leader-sama?" Another voice. _

"_Yes?" _

"_Shall we go?" _

_A pause, and another glance out the window. _

"_Follow her."_

_Nods._

_Poof._

* * *

Sakura mentally cursed herself violently as she crept through the underbrush with exceptional stealth.

Why the hell did she take up this mission, anyways?

And _why_ the _hell _was Sasuke prowling through the forest? Was he some kind of animal, hunting for prey? Dear god, this was _not_ her idea of an easy or fun mission. The rank of this thing deserved to be S, not something as puny as B.

Amidst her inner grumblings and scouring the ground for leaves to avoid, Sakura failed to notice the slim twig, sharp at the end, but otherwise fragile enough, sticking out of the tree, level with her head. With an abrupt, sharp sting, it scraped across her forehead, drawing a small line of blood.

She made no sound of pain, still in stealth mode, but the blood was on the twig. _Her blood_.

Sasuke may not have been from the Inuzuka clan, but like all ninja, his sense of smell was sharp. It was only a matter of time before he noticed—

—and, bypassing the panic button, she automatically reacted to do damage control with a calm expression plastered on her face.

If there was anything worse than making a mistake, it was panicking about it. People seemed to have an innate feel for the vibe that others gave off. And the last thing she wanted to happen was for the world to screw her over and have Sasuke glance in her direction.

With cloaked chakra blazing through to her finger, she efficiently sliced the twig like she would slice a body—with silence and precision. A chakra scalpel, indeed. The twig dropped from the tree into her awaiting hand, and quickly, she stowed it in the weapons pack on her thigh.

She healed the open wound on her forehead, but made no move to wipe away the blood, lest it transfer from her hand to the forest around her.

Peering ahead, she noted that Sasuke had already gone far and, jumping from the ground to land on a thick branch above, she made haste to catch up.

She ran through the trees, silencing her footfalls with carefully melded chakra in her feet, approaching the thicket of greenery with caution. Dropping down to the ground again, she slid through a small opening in the vines and found herself...

…in the middle of a dream.

_.x._

**The Fan Club**_**  
**__of growth and decay_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because he's got an eye for beauty." _

_(admiring glow)_

_.x._

The only word that could begin describe the place that she found herself in was "ethereal".

She was on the edge of a familiar river that she had never before seen in such a light. The Nakano River.

The water was _blue_.

That wasn't an easy thing to have, being that most of the water in all of the lakes and rivers surrounding Konoha were clear at best and a grayish brown at worst. The only blue water she had heard of was on the border of Earth and cresting around the southern islands of Water.

It was like a fairy tale.

Across the river was an open, grassy field with a few almost strategically placed large trees and dummies.

A training field.

Sakura didn't know whether to fall over in shock or be completely unsurprised.

There was only one thing she _was_ sure of. Sasuke had a thing of beauty all to himself, and he wasn't even paying attention to it.

No, he was running chakra-less laps around the borders of the clearing across the river.

The idiot.

If she had a place like this all to herself, she wouldn't waste it on something that she could perfectly well elsewhere. She would…she would…have picnics! And frolic in the wildflowers.

And take naps under the sun. And read a good book.

With a sigh, Sakura settled in the crook of the branches, leaning against the trunk. She was quite sure, with the amount energy that Sasuke was exerting on his warm up, that she would be there for a long while.

* * *

The wind blew gently against the pages of her notebook in which she was diligently taking notes. Her nose scrunched up at the thought, distaste on her lips.

She was taking _notes. _On Sasuke. Without his knowledge.

She never did think she would have to use her stealth knowledge for such…unsavory matters. It felt like abuse of everything that she had been taught.

Her eyes tightened. She didn't like abusing knowledge or power.

She sighed, eyes trained on Sasuke as he did sets of vertical pushups. It was for the mission.

He tilted then, feet touching back on the ground with grace.

Sakura supposed, even if she _was_, in essence, stalking him, she could appreciate the agility and the way that he almost made…the way that he made acts that were generally considered violent look like an art. Like a complex dance.

She watched as he attacked a dummy with incredibly force and power, with such _precision_. Somehow, even though it was something that Sakura looked at every day, she felt as though she were really _seeing_ for the first time.

It was beautiful.

All of a sudden, she was taken back to the question from the exam, the one about where Sasuke would rank on a scale of one to ten as a shinobi, and she knew, clearly and definitively, what she would have written there.

She would have written what she saw.

As she lazily penned a few taijutsu moves on the paper that Sasuke was practicing, she thought, perhaps, that maybe the club wasn't as superficial as she thought. Maybe, after she got home, she would read through the textbook.

Maybe she would be surprised.

By the time she looked back up from her paper, Sasuke's shirt and shorts had disappeared, as were his shoes. Barefoot and clad in a pair of boxers, he was walking towards the river below her.

Her eyes widened. He wasn't wearing clothes. Well, except for underwear, but…

Dear god, he _wasn't wearing clothes._

Was he—

—no, he wasn't bathing. Thank goodness.

She let out a huge mental sigh of relief and her face, previously flushed, began to slowly discolor again. She told herself that she had no idea why she was, of all things, _blushing. _It wasn't as if she hadn't seen everything Sasuke had before. There, logically speaking, should be no relief at all.

She shouldn't have panicked.

She _was_ a med-nin, after all, and her teammates were particular about who was treating them, the spoiled babies. For every life-threatening injury, for some _absurd_ reason, they absolutely refused to see anyone about it…except for her.

She didn't know whether to be flattered or not. Sasuke and Kakashi were always rigid in this practice. Naruto was marginally more easygoing, but if she wasn't showering or dying, he would always press her to heal whatever it was that was broken.

So naturally, because of their idiotic tendencies, she had seen every part of all of them. Not all at once, but in pieces. She had performed surgeries for the removal of shrapnel and glossed over bruised skin. She had done physical exams and given them injections.

She had _even_ seen, and she was quite proud of this…Kakashi's face.

Incidentally, he was quite attractive, despite the horrendous tan line that had formed from where his mask rested all the time.

And on the subject of attractiveness, Sakura could and _would_ freely admit that, by all standards, Sasuke was conventionally gorgeous. But she _had_ seen it. It wasn't new.

She had seen the muscles and the bone structure and the lean body up close and personal. She'd seen his curved forearms and his abs and the V in his hips that was, she had to admit, just a little mouthwatering.

But still…_she had seen it._

So, _logically_, it didn't make sense for her to be blushing like some…like some perverted peeping tom. She had seen it _all_. Every last inch of skin she had viewed at one point or another. There was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Except, with a startling realization, she was, in this situation, the perverted peeping tom. No, worse: she was the peeping Sakura.

And all for a mission.

With sudden realization, Sakura almost began to feel as though she were…crossing a line.

Thinking quickly, her eyes slid towards the sky, estimating the time she had left until her shift was over, the time she had left until some _strange girl_ had to come and stare at half-naked Sasuke and be a legitimate peeping fangirl.

The sun beat down on her face and she had to squint to see, but she could estimate that she had about forty minutes left.

That was enough time.

Hopefully.

She could only hope that Sasuke wasn't girly enough to take long showers…or whatever it was that he was doing.

Glancing back at him from above, she readjusted her position so that more of the leaves would cover her still form. He was bent over, skin stretching over his shoulder blades and spine, folding his clothes neatly on a nearby rock.

Her lips twitched, wanting to laugh.

He would make a good housewife. A good homemaker. His folding was immaculate, all the edges neatly lined up and not a single wrinkle in sight.

An image of Sasuke, clad in an apron, materialized in her mind. Her lips twitched again. She wondered if he could cook well, she thought idly as Sasuke placed his shoes next to his clothes and walked down to the river.

He stepped in the cool water and, all at once, all the tension in him dripped away as he waded deeper in the river before kicking back and floating, _relaxing_, on the water.

With a soft smile on her face, she turned her eyes back to the notebook. As she wrote down "_went for a swim"_ in lazy penmanship, all she could think about was that he truly had changed.

As he floated down the river, water sloshing up at his sides, an indescribably sense of pride welled up inside of her. She was proud.

Proud that, for once in his life, Sasuke was happy.

Happy and…free.

* * *

He had swam for exactly twenty minutes—a smooth and easy set of laps back and forth. There was no speed or energy being expended. He was just swimming, gliding along what was sure to be refreshing water.

His hair stuck to his head like every normal being, and Sakura was mildly surprised. She would have thought his gravity-defying hair would have defied gravity forever. With all of his hair flattened out, the supposed resemblance to Sai was slightly clearer to her…but still not incredibly apparent.

Amidst her musings, Sasuke had waded back to the edge of the river, slipping his clothes back on over his only slightly damp boxers. She could only assume, just as how most kunoichi bought elements-resistant panties, most shinobi purchased the same type of underwear.

Fully clothed again, Sasuke began to walk startlingly close to the tree that she was perched in. Silently shrinking back against the tree trunk, she kept her eyes trained on him as he came to a stop just at the base of the trunk before crouching.

His voice reached her ears immediately despite the soft tone. "Hi."

Her eyes widened imperceptibly as she peered under the branch she was sitting on, leaning over just enough. Was he talking to _her?_

But no. For resting between the curled roots of the tree was a stone, indecipherable things engraved on it.

"I miss you, Aniki."

Her eyes welled up, unbidden, with tears.

It was Itachi's grave.

* * *

_A/N:_ Firstly, I _adore_ you all._ I could kiss you_.

Secondly, this was a rush, seriously. I had written a good thousand or so words up until a few nights ago when I decided the reason I was so stuck and couldn't write any more was because I hated everything I had written. So I deleted the whole thing and started from scratch and now, here we are, four days later. Two days of writing, one day of dawdling, and one day of beta by the ever-lovely _**AkieriN**. _

Thirdly, I sincerely apologize for the lateness...but because of the lateness, I had the ability to make this better than it would have been! Mm, I love you all to pieces. Thank you so much for your patience and encouragement.


	8. of healing and scars

_Hushed whispers._

_One step closer._

"_Hickory, dickory, dock…" _

_Fingers clutched behind her back. _

"…_the mouse ran up the clock…"_

_Contemplative stare out the window._

"…_the clock struck two and down she ran…"_

_Laughter. _

"…_hickory, dickory, dock."_

_Silence._

* * *

It was obvious, then, what she had to do. This had gone on for far too long, to the point where her innocuous intrusion had made her agitated. Her heart twisted, and she tensed.

It was undeniable, then.

She had to leave. She had to get out. Get out _now_.

There was a line, a fine line, which lay between familiarity and discomfort. And it was instinctive to know that she had crossed it.

So methodically, in the bare seconds after Sasuke spoke, she glanced around and mapped out her escape plan. The easiest path was through the tops of the trees. If she could just climb to the upper branches, she could scale her way until she was out of hearing range, and then run back to the fanclub's headquarters.

It would be simple. She would turn in her notes, the ends of which were highly falsified, and tell the next girl she had left him at the ramen stand, as was indicated in her writings. If the girl couldn't find him there when she managed to make her way across town, that was her problem, not Sakura's.

A sigh floated up from below. "Things have changed."

As long as Sasuke had his time, this time.

"The idiot has explained to me too many times that you would have wanted what was best for me, what made me happy… what made me heal."

With precision and mild amounts of panic in her veins, she attempted to stop her ears from listening in on his words. She screwed her eyes shut and inwardly listened to the rush of wind and the blood in her ears, to the rustle of the leaves and the distant sounds of the crows.

It didn't work.

"And I'm healing."

Unconsciously, her fingers reached for a thin branch, refusing to acknowledge that he was speaking.

"For them. For you."

Sakura didn't ever think that a single sound would be her downfall. She didn't think she would have a downfall to begin with, but—

"For me."

Snap.

That was all it took.

The branch she had been gripping onto suddenly lost its strength as if sapped by some outside, unknowable force, or as though the stress of the situation had transferred somehow, impossibly, to the tree—

This shouldn't have happened.

She tried to rewind in her mind, to figure out where she had miscalculated…

I _don't_ make _mistakes_, she berated herself within nanoseconds of the snap, within the split second that her muscles locked down and she froze. The air was still for a single frightening moment. And then all her energy was focused onto one thing and one thing only: flight.

And so she fled.

_.x._

**The Fan Club**_**  
**__of healing and scars_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because things fall apart sometimes…"_

_(downcast face)_

_.x._

Her feet were a blur as she forced herself to run faster, using more chakra, not focusing on any sort of destination, on any sort of point other than to just get away. Flight, flight.

Everything was too fast, too hasty. Sakura moved frantically, crashing through the trees in an uncoordinated and rushed manner. She was panicked; her closely molded chakra was falling to the limbs she didn't want them to fall to. Her feet were embedding impressions in the trees, scraping off layers of bark as she went.

She didn't know why she fooled herself into thinking she could escape.

She didn't know why she fooled herself into thinking everything would work out fine.

"What the _fuck_ are you _doing?_" he hissed, as the force and anger of his tug ended up sending her violently into a tree, the trunk splintering against her back. She forced herself to meet his gaze.

"I…"

Somehow, he seemed so vulnerable, even in his anger. Even in his fury, she saw the little Sasuke from the Academy, the one who was building up his dreams from the bottom up.

Because that was where he was starting off again, wasn't it? After all these years, he was beginning anew.

After all the blood and loss, after the ashes of his old life—

Like a phoenix.

She wobbled and shifted, looking at him with so much sympathy and regret. "I'm so, so _sorry_," she said, finally, and she wrenched her hand from his grasp, wiping away the tears she didn't know had arisen from her eyes, tears that hadn't fallen but had collected all the same.

But the scars—

"I don't _want _your _pity_," he spat.

Her fingers twitched, and there was this overwhelming motherly urge, this need—

"I'm not pitying you," she said in the silence between them, in the chasm that seemed to have opened up from nowhere, from across the distance that she had single-handedly created not with her fists but with her actions. "I'm caring for you."

He scoffed and shoved past her as he walked away.

* * *

It was three minutes after two o'clock when she arrived back at the fan club's headquarters, looking like she had just spent two hours of the dullest day of her life watching a soup can.

It was two minutes later that Sakura handed in her notes that were filled to the brim with lies about his whereabouts for about the last half hour or so of her observation. It was one minute later that she directed a tall, skinny girl towards the ramen stand where she had falsely reported last seeing him.

Afterwards, she began the trek back home, holding herself awkwardly, hands behind her back, fingers wringing together in anxiety as she walked. She felt boneless.

She felt empty.

She'd invaded in his space—that much, she could admit and understand. Her brain was urging her to link him to one of those territorial dogs that pees on everything it doesn't want anyone else to touch, and although the description was a vulgar one, she couldn't help but think it was accurate.

He was territorial enough to not let anyone near his past, near the things and people he cared about. He could and would die for Naruto, who may as well have been his brother. At one point, maybe she believed that he could have done the same for her.

But now she wasn't sure.

It bit at her, the feeling that he didn't trust her enough, didn't care for her enough. She could firmly say that Sasuke had become a permanent fixture in her life, but she had never wondered whether the feeling was reciprocated.

She despised feeling this weak, this dependent.

"Bonds make you strong," she whispered to herself, her mantra, under her breath as tears collected in her eyes again.

The feeling of frustration curled at her insides and she hissed, swearing under her breath. "Dammit, _why_ am I crying?"

She refused to acknowledge the pit of guilt that she was hovering over, the black gulf threatening to consume her. She refused to acknowledge that although Sasuke wasn't right for assuming the worst in her, she wasn't right for coming clean in the first place, either.

* * *

Naruto had noticed.

It had only been a day—no, less—and he had noticed.

She supposed she was idiotic for hoping that he would somehow be dense enough to be completely blind to the icy silence between them. Why she had given in to such an inane hope was beyond her logical understanding, but their mutual cold shoulder had apparently rubbed off on Naruto in the wrong way.

Honestly, she didn't know what kind of blindness allowed her to place her faith in such a ridiculous theory.

Naruto had been anything but dense for the last decade or so. Maybe in his childhood, but…

No, he was quite perceptive to the problems of others. Unnaturally so.

Sakura prided herself for knowing such an extraordinary person such as himself; but when he turned his own version of psychoanalysis on her, there was a distinct feeling of discomfort. His understanding was invasive, in some ways, even though it really _did _help in the long run.

Which was why the deeply empathetic look he was giving her from across the table as she sipped her tea was unnerving to her. Sakura was having lunch with Naruto while Miho's regular team of genin babysat her for the day, assuring her that she wouldn't have any problems with the club while they were around.

"You have to sort this one out for yourself," he said between bites, half chewed noodles launching themselves out of his mouth as he talked.

She blinked, nonplussed. "That's all you're going to tell me? Not that I'm a complete lunatic and that Sasuke is unnecessarily touchy?"

"Well, we both already knew that," he replied cheekily after a quick swallow.

She gave him a withering look. "Why are we friends, again?"

He ignored her, continuing on as if she hadn't spoken. "Sasuke isn't a complete butthead, you know," he said offhandedly as he chewed. "If you force him to listen, he'll listen. All you need to do is clear up this entire misunderstanding and voila! Everything will be awesome."

She gave him a level glance. "He's not _going_ to let himself be forced into listening."

He grinned wildly, exuberant as ever. "Be sneaky, Sakura. Veeeery sneaky."

"I…" Sakura sipped her tea and considered this, a vague idea coming to mind. "Okay."

* * *

_A/N: _I honestly don't know how any of you put up with me. It's getting a little nuts how irregular these updates are, but I am so appreciative that you _do _ have this kind of patience. And for that, I love you all. Also, for just existing. You are all beautiful people~

Thanks to **_AkieriN _**and **_Just Lovely_** for looking through this for me and fixing my errors! You're both my favorites.

Again, thank you all bunches. If I could give you all my heart, I would, but as it stands, I only have one and I kind of need it to survive. Take my metaphorical ones instead!


	9. of yellows and reds

"_It's odd, isn't it?"_

_The rustle of paper. The sound of a stapler._

"_What's odd?" _

"_The feeling I have in the pit of my stomach—like she's gaining inches of respect." _

_An abrasive, grating laugh. "Respect?"_

"_Respect, consideration, fear, worship. They're all the same."_

"_Fear, indeed."_

_The silence of the morning._

* * *

There are many things Sakura could describe herself as. Happy, for one. Successful. Brutish, at times. Blunt. So very loving. And fiercely loyal.

But sneaky was never on the list. It never had been, never would be.

Sakura didn't _do_ sneaky. Her heart was an open book, her face gave everything away. She had worn her heart and her soul and everything that she was on her sleeves for as long as she could remember. She and trickery simply didn't mesh.

She was what she was. What people saw was what they got.

Sakura punched craters into the ground; she didn't assassinate in silence. She was upfront, much like Tsunade. She didn't hide behind disguises and masks and treachery. She was her own person.

Much as she would have once liked to have become the combative female warrior who was sexy and alluring on the surface but lethal on the inside, she had grown into something that she was much more proud of. She had grown into a person who could accept herself, flaws and all. She had grown into a woman to be reckoned with, with enough willpower to level cities.

Perhaps she would never quite be as slippery as Anko, whose underhandedness was a fearsome thing to behold. And she knew she would never have underestimation on her side—not anymore, not like Hinata did, not like she used to have herself in the past.

She could accept that about herself. She _had _accepted that about herself.

Sneaky was just one of those qualities she would never embody. She was okay with that.

Except for now, when she needed it the most.

The one time she had tried to be sneaky ended disastrously and landed her in this exact situation in the first place, so it wasn't something she was particularly eager to repeat. No, sneaky was not in her vocabulary.

But persistent certainly was.

And so as she slipped into her boots in the wee hours of the morning—so early that the sun wasn't up—she didn't feel like sneaky was so far from her reach.

Mostly because perseverance—something Naruto had taught her very well—was already in the palm of her hand.

_.x._

**The Fan Club**_**  
**__of yellows and reds_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because she had to try."_

_(blazing eyes)_

_.x._

The first thing that Sakura registered as she crouched on the ceiling of Sasuke's bedroom, contemplating her next move, was that Sasuke slept in the fetal position. She didn't know whether to laugh or return home to grab a camera and take a picture for Naruto or just find the entire situation so incredibly adorable.

He looked so much younger.

The lines in his face smoothened out, his breathing was even.

If it weren't for the strong jaw line from where the baby fat melted away and the light stubble, his face, at least, would have looked exactly the same as when he was twelve.

He was much too grown now, of course, to properly pass as a preteen, but if she squinted and turned her head a bit and mentally chopped off parts of his legs, she supposed she could see it.

She shook her head as though shaking away her thoughts and instead put her elbows on her bent knees, trying to think about how to go about the next part of her plan without waking him before too much blood rushed to her head from standing upside down.

Sakura wasn't sneaky.

She hadn't brought with her various gags and rope to tie him up like Naruto might have—no, she had only brought the clothes on her back and a few spare weapons just in case.

But Sakura _was_ a quick learner.

Most of the time, she attributed it to her affinity to control chakra so precisely, but it was times like these that that explanation simply didn't apply.

It was this: what she experienced, she learned. Plain and simple.

If she fell down because she fell over a root hidden by a pile of leaves, she made it a point to avoid suspicious looking piles of leaves. If she was defeated because of an injury she hadn't bothered to heal, she noted to herself to heal all old wounds, to not give anyone the chance to exploit her weaknesses.

If she had been knocked out and left on a bench in the middle of the night because of pressure points in her body and her own foolishness, she went and researched in the library all the weaknesses inherently in the human body and used them against other people…and learned how to guard herself against them.

Which is why as she stood over Sasuke's bed, she took a page out of Sasuke's book and edited it for her own.

A smile flitted across her lips briefly as she released her control of the chakra in her feet and dropped quickly on top of Sasuke, her fingers immediately going to his neck.

So as soon as he registered that Sakura had fallen from the sky onto him, he was already out cold. She hopped off the side of his bed and scooped him up in her arms, bridal style, and flitted back outside of the house with silent laughter written all over her face as he head lolled to the side, out cold.

If this was the kind of entertainment that Naruto had enjoyed in his early days when he painted the Hokage mountains and played petty pranks on passersby, she had missed out.

But better late than never, right?

* * *

Sasuke did not experience that brief amnesia that seemed to be a part of the typical waking up procedure from forced unconsciousness.

No, when Sasuke woke up tied to the base of a large tree facing a river, he knew exactly what had happened. There was no questioning as to how he got there, because the few seconds of consciousness he'd had in his own bed before Sakura had knocked him back out again provided enough memory to understand the chain of events.

But that didn't stop him from trying to break free from his state of capture.

"You knocked me out," he spoke aloud, irritated, knowing that Sakura was around _somewhere_ to hear his complaints. "In my _bed_."

She replied from somewhere behind him airily, "Well, I _know_. I was _great_ last night."

His ears turned red and he sneered to compensate.

The grass crunched behind him as Sakura walked up to his tree before leaning against it, facing the river as well. She had what appeared to be leftovers—were those _his_ leftovers?—in her hand from the restaurant he'd gotten food from the night before.

"You're eating my—" he began, but she interrupted, shoveling some of the shrimp rice into his mouth as he was talking, effectively silencing him, before fishing around in the container for a second more before finding a floret of broccoli and pinching that between the chopsticks and pushing it into his mouth as well.

He glared as he swallowed. "_What_ are you trying to—"

"This is my grandmother," she said, gesturing to the river.

That silenced him.

"I was ten when she died. She didn't die in war or anything typically considered 'honorable' to shinobi, but she fought the hardest battle that I've ever seen those last few months before she passed. She had a disease that took her memory, took parts of her sanity, and then took her life. She wanted her ashes spread here," Sakura spoke firmly.

"She met my grandfather at this river. He was fishing, and she was swimming, and his line managed to hook into the soft skin of her ankle. He took her to the hospital, and they were inseparable.

"She was one of the brightest and most sensitive people I've ever known. That I probably ever will know," she finished her story and set the food in Sasuke's lap, pulling out a kunai from the weapons pack on her thigh and sliced the thin wires.

He didn't move except to shake off the restraints.

"The second challenge for initiation was to follow you around. Which I did quite effectively, by the way. And I should have told you beforehand, but I didn't because I was _curious_. I'll freely admit that. But I wasn't invading in your personal space intentionally or treading on open wounds in an effort to be the biggest bitch on the face of the planet." Sakura explained, frustrated, as she wrung her fingers together.

"It was a _job_ and I was _curious_, but when you caught me, I was trying to get away because I knew it was something you wouldn't want me to hear. I'm sorry, and I was wrong.

"_But_, for the record, you were wrong, too. You still haven't grown out of your idiotic habit of jumping to conclusions and getting angry and then running off like a five year old to throw a tantrum—"

"I do _not_ throw tantrums," he bristled.

"—_yes_ you do." She exhaled heavily and slid down the length of the tree, sitting. "But you showed me yours, albeit unintentionally, so I showed you mine," she said, gesturing to the waters. "And I hope this means we're even."

Sasuke slumped, and then turned his head slightly to look at Sakura out of the corner of his eye. "Give me back my food, and we're good."

She only raised her eyebrows in response. "...Naruto's been rubbing off on you," she observed. "But you know what? If food is the condition to the security of our friendship, then I think I'll just go ahead and…"

"Sakura," he drawled warningly.

She looked up from the ground, grinning wickedly, and overturned the Styrofoam container, littering its contents on the ground before Sasuke could make the slightest movement in her direction. "It feels good to feed the ants, doesn't it?" she chirped before dropping the empty container and chopsticks in his lap.

Sasuke could only sigh.

* * *

When Sakura returned home just before lunch, she found Miho sitting on her couch reading a book as the genin team she'd hired cleaned her kitchen for her, scrubbing her floor with toothbrushes just as she'd requested while making sure no harm came to Miho.

It was good teamwork training, she reckoned as they groaned and plastered themselves to her tiles when they got tired, mumbling incoherently.

"Hope you weren't too bored while I was gone," Sakura commented as she shucked her shoes near the doorway, dropping her keys in the drawer.

Miho looked up, smiling wanly. "Not at all; I picked up your mail and vacuumed while you were gone," she nodded towards the kitchen counter where her mail was sitting, unopened. "The top one's from the Club. I think it's to tell you whether you've moved on or not, if I remember correctly."

Sakura inhaled and pried open the envelope nervously, the paper ripping from where the adhesive refused to budge. She wasn't about to forget that the last time she received an envelope from these people, it was bad news. They'd set her on her toes. So as she slipped the crisply folded paper, only one sheet, out from its packaging, she didn't know what to expect.

"What's it say?" Miho inquired, having sat up straighter on the couch, eyes straining to read from a distance as Sakura unfolded the letter.

Sakura blinked, and then flipped the sheet over and then back again, confused. "It…doesn't say anything. It's blank."

* * *

_A/N:_ Hi, my lovelies. It feels _so_ good to be back, honestly. Allow me to explain my last absence in a list of things that happened that were time consuming: lump in my chest, AP exams, prom, graduation, college orientation, writing for SSM, surgery for previously mentioned (benign) lump, recovery, writing, and here I am now. Needless to say it's been...stressful.

I missed you guys. I love you all to bits and I know I tell you this every chapter, but I do because it's true. I'm really fond of you.


	10. of illusions and the obvious

"_It is your task as a stealth member to do this." _

_The papers were handed over. _

_The brief sounds of hands flipping through. _

"_Just for Her?" _

"_Well, I suppose observing the other one wouldn't harm, either." _

_The masked face nodded._

_The transaction was done._

* * *

Sakura tucked the stray hairs behind her ears that fell out of the ponytail as she leaned over the paper with a dropper, pattering a small section of the surface carefully before allowing it to soak and holding it up to the ultraviolet lamp that made the room glow softly in the dim light of the evening.

"Damn," Sakura cursed aloud as nothing showed, and pushed back the white sleeves of her standard lab coat in frustration—a force of habit.

She placed the paper back down and grabbed a cotton ball, dipping it in a different solution and rubbing the next allocated section with it before holding it up to the ultraviolet.

Nothing.

This was _endless_.

She'd spent the better part of her evening eating to-go dumplings and running tests on the letter in the basement lab of the hospital. But so far, nothing had turned up. She'd shaded the paper in pencil, felt over it with chakra to sense ridges, tapped it to remove genjutsu…and gone through possibly every paper test imaginable in the ninja world to decode things and found…nothing.

Even the envelope was spotless.

There weren't even any signs of fingerprints aside from her own—which she found strange but let slide regardless.

For all intents and purposes, it was just a regular, blank sheet of paper.

Except it _couldn't_ be just a regular sheet of paper because what kind of organization folded up regular paper, shoved it in an envelope, _paid_ for _postage_, and then mailed it to people? There was no logic in that.

Sakura sat back in her rolling stool with a sigh, her fingers grabbing the chopsticks resting on top of the container on the side table, scooping some food into her mouth.

Sakura was _not_ a happy camper. And if she didn't figure this out, Sasuke wouldn't be a happy camper, either. _In fact, if this sheet of paper_, she thought to herself as she gave the parchment a dirty look, _insisted on being nothing but a sheet of paper, the entire figurative camping trip would be ruined._

It was akin to letting a wild bear tear into their happy tent and eat all of their food. And then take a dump on their spare clothes and even worse—her medical supplies.

Sakura moaned incoherently as she chewed, her head falling into her hands.

At this rate, she wouldn't have a campsite left at all. She would never go camping again. Ever.

At this rate, Sasuke was going to murder her.

_.x._

**The Fan Club**_**  
**__of illusions and the obvious_

_(written by seleneswan)_

…

"_Because nothing is ever what it seems when it comes to Sasuke Uchiha."_

_(eyes heavenwards)_

_.x._

"Sasuke, I quit," she announced to him over their weekly Team Seven dinner at Ichiraku as she absentmindedly swirled her noodles around.

Naruto looked up from his bowl curiously. "Quit what?"

"This is the fourth time you've quit since this afternoon, Sakura, and this will be the fourth time that I've explained that _you can't quit because I'm paying you to do this mission_," he explained tersely, closing his eyes.

"Quit what?" Naruto insisted, tapping the table impatiently.

Kakashi peered at Sasuke over the edge of his current selection of literature, an eyebrow raised. "Have you been going to your therapy sessions? You know that you have to uphold your end of the bargain or they'll throw you in prison—"

"They're not _therapy sessions_; they're mental evaluations. I don't sit there and talk about my _feelings_ to some idiot who thinks they know my mind," he corrected derisively, lips pulled up in a sneer.

"That still doesn't answer—"

"Quit_ what?" _Naruto interrupted both of them, lip jutting outwards in a pout. "You can't just _ignore_—"

Sakura grinned, her eyes crinkling in the process. "I missed this," she sighed, resting her chin in her hands giddily.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto whined, brows tilting upwards in the beginnings of a full on pout session, "What is he paying you for? You could do so much better than to _let_ him to pay you for sex—"

"_What?" _she screeched, her previous happy glow long gone.

People in the diner were starting to stare.

All of a sudden, Kakashi's insistence on questioning Sasuke's agreement with the courts was long forgotten. "Huh, who would've thought…" he trailed off to no one in particular, placing his book face down on the table, deciding that the possible sex lives of his ex-students-now-current-colleagues were much more important than the fictional sex lives of the characters in his smut-ridden novella.

"She is _not_ getting paid for sex—" Sasuke deadpanned.

"He is _not_ paying me for _sex_; _what do you think_ _I am, Naruto?"_ she hissed, suddenly aware they were discussing these things in a very public place.

Kakashi looked a little disappointed and quietly resumed reading.

Naruto looked a little wild-eyed as he held up his hands at the murderous glares of his two teammates. "Okay, okay! Fine, he's not paying you for—"

Sai chose to saunter in at that moment, ducking under the coverings of the eatery, uncharacteristically late. "I never thought you'd stoop to prostitution, Ugly. No one with taste would ever pay for you anyways," he said airily, sliding into a seat. "I apologize for being late; I was accosted by Shizune-san to get a physical at the hospital."

Sakura seethed. "For your information, _I am not selling sex, _nor will I ever, but _if I did, _plenty of people would pay for me. Naruto would pay for me, wouldn't you, Naruto?" she shot back, not noticing how Naruto floundered around in his seat, looking excessively uncomfortable.

"Ah…I…Sakura…" he trailed off, looking panicked as he gaze flitted from the steady anger Sakura was exuding to Sasuke's careful poker face that he was certain was hiding a menacing death threat to the ceiling and then to his pants.

Sakura slid her gaze over to her other teammate, all of a sudden. "Okay, fine. Naruto has Hinata, anyways, but Sasuke—"

She was cut off when Sasuke avoided answering the question by a not-so-subtle topic change. "Sakura's on a mission to remove idiotic fan girls from the face of the planet. That's what she's trying to quit."

Naruto blinked.

Sakura rubbed her forehead tiredly. "That was supposed to be confidential, Sasuke; we are in a public place. For all we know, you just screwed over the entire—"

"Why d'you want to quit, Sakura-chan?" Naruto scrunched up his face, confused. "It can't be _that_ hard—"

"_We can't talk about this here_," she stressed in hushed tones. "You know what, just shut up for now. I'll tell you all about it later, I promise."

Sai placed a hand on Sakura's back in what was supposed to be sympathizing. "Well, we always knew Ugly was a chicken about missions," he shrugged.

Sakura glared at him balefully out of the corner of her eye as her hand snuck up to the juncture between his neck and his shoulder, and she smiled fakely. "We did always know that, didn't we," she said flatly, and squeezed hard as Sai crumpled beneath her fingers.

Sai woke up hours later, disoriented, to the sound of children laughing at the dress, bonnet, and the copious amounts of red lipstick he was wearing.

* * *

Naruto stepped back from the lamp post to observe his handiwork with a maniacal grin. "This is the most fun I've had in ages," he exclaimed cheerfully to Sakura, who could laugh only lightly in return, something else other than humor coloring her voice.

Sasuke had already headed to the Hokage tower to pick up Miho, who that day, was being watched by the security guards already on duty over there. Kakashi had retired for an early night a while ago, and so it was just herself and Naruto and an unconscious Sai in the evening streets.

She broke their comfortable silence with a thought. "You know, he's kind of right. I _am_ chickening out. It's just…this is somehow so much more than I expected it to be. It's as if they kind of…hold some power over me. Like we're playing a card game and I have all the crappy number cards and they hold the ace of spades. They're more than I thought they would be," she mused. "They're…smarter."

Naruto shook his head as he slipped the bonnet onto Sai's head, tying the laces into an oversized bow. "But you're _brilliant, _Sakura-chan. You knocked Sai out by touching his shoulder. You can smash the ground into pieces, and you can solve any puzzle I've ever known. You kick ass," he insisted earnestly.

Sakura's lips curled upwards in a small smile. "I suppose all of those things are true…" she said cheekily.

"So then how come you want to quit?"

"Well, so I've told you about the paper," she said, distressed. "And I think I have come to the realization that there are just some puzzles no one can solve," she said, wrapping her arms around herself as she paced around.

"Every puzzle has an answer key, though," Naruto insisted.

Sakura could only shake her head dejectedly, trying to think about what she could have possibly missed, what it could possibly mean. She wrung her fingers together and stared at her hands for a moment, contemplative as a bare sketch of an idea occurred to her…

"Can you give me your lipstick?" he asked, interrupting her train of thought.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Sakura said distractedly as she rummaged in the small bag she had with her. She didn't really ever wear lipstick, but Ino had given her a few tubes for her last birthday and she had dumped them in her purse without a second thought.

She uncapped it and rolled the red waxy substance to the surface, a little getting on her fingers in the process as she handed it, ready to be used, to Naruto.

He immediately set to work, painting Sai's lips scarlet.

She rubbed her hands together, the stray red lipstick that had gotten on her index finger smearing over her finger, and she studied her hand contemplatively, her thoughts tracing back to what had happened earlier in the day with the incredible emptiness of the paper-not just in words but in everything.

The envelope, the letter…none of them had any fingerprints. What could it mean?

There was no way she could know for sure. There was no way _anyone_ could know for sure. Not unless...

Her eyebrows drew together. "Every puzzle has an answer key," she repeated softly as the easiest answer came to her all of a sudden.

Not unless she _asked._

"Sometimes, the right answer is the simplest one," she said to herself victoriously, vowing to herself that by the end of the night, she would know what they wanted her to do.

She looked up at Naruto who was basking in his artwork, wielding the lipstick like a marker, and smiled as she threw her arms around Naruto all of a sudden, cheery. "Thank you!" she exhaled excitedly, pressing a sisterly kiss to his temple before running off, leaving her lipstick at the mercy of a maniac.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, confused, and tucked the half used tube of lipstick into the floral dress pocket.

_All in a day's work_, he thought to himself, walking away with a bounce in his step.

* * *

Sakura pushed open the glass doors of the fan club building, walking up to the counter decisively, pressing the blank letter onto the countertop of the small lobby they had.

The girl at the counter looked up curiously, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Name?"

"Sakura Haruno," Sakura replied back decisively, watching as the lady pulled out a list of names, crossing her name off with a purple pen. About half of the names had been marked as such.

"You have finally understood that not all answers lie in your hands, and you have finally been humbled enough to realize that asking is not beneath you. Your final task is in the symbolism of the paper," she said in a bored monotone, as if she'd repeated it a million and one times already. "You are to create your own final task. You have a clean slate, a blank piece of paper, if you will, to impress the Selection Committee. You have until four days from now at this exact time to turn in whatever it is you come up with.

"I wish you the best of luck," the young girl said, pushing her long black hair behind her ears, an almost ominous look on her face. "You _will_ need it."

* * *

_A/N:_ I love you all. So, so very much. If I could travel around the world and squeeze the life out of all of you-most affectionately-I would.

(But I have to admit, I'm a little confused. Last chapter's review response was much, _much_...less than I normally get. And I don't like to ask you guys to tell me what you think because I'd like to know which of you are honestly kind enough to take the time to give me feedback of your own accord, but I'd like to know what I've done that you don't like? Because when I get so few reviews-the least by quite the margin it's ever been on this story for a chapter-I start to wonder what I've done that's...prompted the lack thereof. What I've done wrong. What has made you...displeased or unhappy or apathetic or...or-maybe I'm overthinking this.

But it'd be nice if you could tell me your thoughts?)

In other news, I have plotted away an orig!fic so my updates may be slower as I'm working on that. Also, I baked brownies. Also, I love you~


	11. of notices and good news

an open and temporary letter to you, my kind readers.

I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do these notes that look like chapters but are actually not chapters because wow that's deceiving and I've already done it once before. and here I am, rearing up for a second run.

well, promises are meant to be broken, anyways. and this information is important!

(standard disclaimer I didn't mean to get your hopes up and crush them with something that's not fic. good things come to those who wait? uh.)

I just thought I'd leave this here for a few days because I have good news! after ages of leaving this to collect dust, I'm finally returning to it. which is great because I remember really liking writing this, and I distinctly remember some of you liked reading it, hahaha.

I'd stopped writing this for a long time because I was in this constant state of conflict. I was just struggling because I'd run out of plot line. I hadn't planned it out, and I reached the end of my meager to nonexistent planning and then I stared it down for a while and was like "well. shoot."

and then beyond that, I experienced a period where I was incredibly dissatisfied with this and wanted to throw it in the trash, which I am eternally grateful I didn't do, even though I still think that the later chapters are (obviously) way better than the first ones. and then I thought "I WILL REWRITE THIS FROM SCRATCH," but upon realizing that was way too much work I decided not to do that either.

but as I said, I'm still not _happy_ with the beginning, so there will be changes being made.

so here's the plan: I'm going to be going through and editing and rewriting pieces of past chapters to fit with my current personal standards of quality. while doing that, I'm _also _going to be writing new chapters. and then writing all the other things I'm writing, too.

I don't know if fanfiction sends updates when chapters are replaced with slightly different but mostly the same versions, but if they don't, now you know what's about to happen. I'll tell you guys sporadically which chapters I've rewritten/edited, and I'll leave that information on my profile so you guys know when to reread. well, if you want to reread, that is.

but I've finally figured out what I'm going to write/how I'm going to write the next chapter and I plan on writing it within the next few days, so this note is not going to be here for long. it'll be deleted and then promptly replaced with a brand spankin' new chapter that I hope you'll enjoy.

it's so, so good to be back.

thanks for all of your patience. (:


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